EGO

Photo by Chris Keller

Lets chat about ego... 

Someone asked me the other day what I felt like our biggest problem is in our culture today, and I said, “Hands down, the EGO.” The part of each of us that is determined to separate us from the truth of who and what we are on a soul level.  

    I live in Los Angeles, and believe me, the egos around here are no joke! Everyone is reaching for a goal, and is doing their best to achieve what they set out to achieve, and beyond! When I think of an egotistical person, I think of someone who is very into themselves, and flaunts their best selves, whether the information be true or false, any chance they get. While this is one characteristic of the ego, this isn’t exactly all that it is. When it all comes down to it, the ego is a narrative we have created for ourselves, and we all have one. It’s the personality we’ve accumulated over all of these years that has allowed us to define ourselves as individuals. Don’t get me wrong, I love diversity. I love that we each have our own beautiful characteristics that make us each unique in our own perfect ways. The problem is, is that what we have let define us on an individual level isn’t exactly what is necessarily TRUE majority of the time. We come into this world as extensions of the Source energy, God, if you will, which is love, peace, clarity, wisdom, truth, compassion, forgiveness etc. Over years of living on this planet, we have these experiences that allow us to close ourselves off to many of these things. On some level, we let ourselves become jaded and forget about the truth of who we are, and we allow fear, judgement, anger, aggression, etc, to enter our thought patterns. There are some fear based things we learn on a survival level that are good things to know, such as, “I shouldn’t touch that stove because I’ve learned that will burn and hurt me,” but this this not what I am referring to. I’m talking about the experiences we have that allow us to judge our worth, such as “my dad left when I was a kid, so that must mean I’m worthless...” or “my family expects __________ from me, so this is who I should be.” We let these beliefs become us, mold us, and like a snowball, we let them accumulate to create who we think we are suppose to be. I’m a big Jim Carrey fan, and in one of his recent talks, he mentioned that we are all actors playing the role of ourselves everyday. What if this is true?! Take a minute and ask yourself if you feel like there is a role you have to upkeep. The ego creates duality between each other and between us and the source, the Spirit. We are more than just human beings. On an energetic level, we are already whole. We are individual only in our current expression of the Source, but we are all of the Source. We are peace, we are joy, we are love. What if we could function from this place instead of this jaded character we’ve created for ourselves? 

     I’ve noticed that our culture is moving further and further away from the truth of who we are. It’s not rocket science when you get on social media, and see that nobody has wrinkles and/or a collage of everyone’s best moments. Look, I get it! I love to post pictures of me on the beach, traveling, writing songs, etc etc… living my “best life!” It’s great to be able to share the fun, exciting things I’m doing and working on. Is my life perfect? No. Sometimes I cry in the shower after a rough day… Or sometimes I’m just in a funk for no apparent reason, and spend an hour convincing myself that I’m a crazy person. I tend to be a bit of a feeler… haha!       

     The problem with social media, is that it is adding to the facade. It’s clear everyone wants to be seen, but now everyone is afraid to be truly honest, because they’re afraid they won’t be fully seen if they are! We have filters to hide our flaws, apps to change our bodies, and influencers that make us feel like our lives are sub par. Here’s the thing, the things you feel aren’t by accident. Feelings are designed to alert you of where you are and where you need to heal. If you stub your toe, you FEEL pain, because your body is telling you that something isn’t right so that you can tend to it. Honoring those feelings and using them as a healing tool is HEALTHY. Letting those feelings define you, is not. 

     TRUTH is a beautiful thing… being honest with yourself, and how you feel. HONORING where you are. It’s ok to not be ok. It’s ok to make mistakes. It’s ok to not be perfect. Its ok to not have it all together. It’s all OK. Being honest with yourself is healing yourself. It allows you to drop the ego, and get back to the truth of you.

      Let me be honest and say, this is not an easy process. I’ve been on this journey consciously now for about 6 years. It all started when I began when I started active imagination therapy sessions after a very vivid dream I had that allowed me to expose programs and pain from my childhood. It was one of those healing processes that “got worse before it got better.” I noticed a lot of my friendships change. I noticed people thought I was weird. I noticed people thought I had changed. However, over time, I noticed the clearing of space in my spirit only allowed me to be more available for new, beautiful things to enter in. And, my oh my, I have not been let down.

      I did a photo shoot recently, and someone turned on a super bright, florescent light and snapped a photo, and you could see EVERY single flaw. I was like, “DO I REALLY LOOK LIKE THIS?!” I made them delete the photo immediately, as I couldn’t stand to look at it!! When you turn the “light” on and expose the pain, it’s ugly and it hurts to look at it. The good news is, and let me remind you: at your core, you are brave. You are supported by God, and together, you are powerful. If you can today, take an honest look at yourself and ask what part of you is being ruled by the ego vs. the spirit… and how can you integrate more of the spirit into your daily practices?