The Story Behind My New Single, "New Eyes"

As you might have heard, I released a new song on Valentine’s Day, called “New Eyes.” Haven’t heard it? Check it out here!

It feels like Christmas morning anytime I get to release new music. Releasing new music independently isn’t always easy, so when the time comes to be able to make it happen, it’s so awesome! Being able to create from a place of understanding within myself, and being able to share that with the world is incredibly fulfilling to me. The last two songs that I have released, “Spiritual” and “Right Direction,” were both derived from the processing of a new understanding of myself as I embarked on a new path both physically and spiritually. There has been so much processing happening, in fact, turning it all into song has been incredibly healing. To share my reality and my healing with you is such a gift, and I so appreciate you listening and being a part. All of this to say, the release of any song feels so exciting and like such an accomplishment, but there are so many personal reasons that I am particularly excited about this song, and I’m excited to share those with you.

1.) I wrote this song alone. 

This may seem like “So! Who cares?!” to a lot of people. However, it’s a huge deal for me. In Nashville, it’s rare to hear of someone writing a song by themselves these days. It’s very common to wake up every day and drive to music row to a scheduled writing session with a new person or team of people. I remember the first song I ever wrote. I was a senior in high school, and I wrote a song based off of a bible verse I had read. The song came out of me soo naturally that I remember feeling like it was given to me. It just felt so easy and fluid. I performed it at church, and everyone clapped and loved it…but once I moved to Nashville a year later, EVERYONE was writing songs and they were super good. I got insecure REAL fast. The four years I was in college, I convinced myself I was a bad writer, and would only sing other people’s songs that they had written. However, the universe was constantly trying to change my mind. Out of college, I was given the opportunity to work at a music publishing company and see the in’s and out’s of how songs were written. It was such a gift, and it inspired me to start writing again. I would work 9am-5pm everyday at the publishing company, and then would write from 5pm-whenever to work on my craft. After a year or so, my boss ended up signing me to my first publishing deal. I felt a lot of freedom, as I was discovering who I was as an artist and was experimenting with a lot of sounds. However, being a signed writer brought on a whole new series of insecurities. Now, I was competing to get cuts on major label records with the best songwriters in Nashville. This consisted of publishers constantly giving you feedback on how to fix and change your songs to make them better or how to make them fit in the box of country radio. While I am all about constructive criticism, I slowly noticed myself getting further and further away from that fluid, effortless feeling I felt when I first started writing. Over time, writing started to feel a little contrived and forced, which led to my songs not being great, which led me to feeling more insecure, which led me to a publishing deal where I was told, “how about you give us your ideas, and we will place you with a writer who we feel will write that idea the best.” Ugh, where’s the creativity in that? And there I was.. completely believing I sucked at writing, and completely burnt out. Looking back, it’s easy to see the lack of confidence I had in myself and the lack of ability I had to stand up for myself and my art. Hindsight is always 20/20, right? Speaking of 2020, this year feels like a great time to start getting back to the heart of what feels fluid and effortless. Which is why I am letting go of all of the insecurities and false beliefs I have developed over the years surrounding my writing, and I am going to release this song that came out of me in about 30 min and is 100% Courtney Cole. It feels scary, but it feels so incredibly freeing. 

2.) I wrote this song about a special person.

If you follow me on social media, you have probably seen pictures of a very handsome man every once in a while (he hates being on social media). If you’ve wondered who he is, his name is Mike, and he is my boyfriend. I could get all mushy-gushy and tell you all of the reasons why I love him, but that would be incredibly annoying, I’m sure. Instead, I’m going to tell you that loving Mike has made me see myself. I have heard that love is like a mirror, but I never really understood exactly what that meant until now. All of my life I have been a performer. This is truly one of my favorite aspects about myself, as I feel like it has been SUCH a gift. However, it is only an ASPECT of me that has turned into a complete identity. It wasn’t until I moved to California and met Mike, that I realized there is more to me to be seen that just Courtney Cole the performer. From day one, Mike saw and acknowledged the parts of myself that I forgot existed, because I didn’t have to live up to the identity I have clinged to for so long. I started to see the absolutely beautiful things about myself, and sometimes the absolutely horrible things about myself at the same time. It’s because of this new perspective, that I am able to love myself a little more, have compassion for myself, and heal the things that are clear to me now need the healing. I see everything in a new way, and I’m so grateful for my “New Eyes.”

3.) I recorded this song in Nashville and LA. 

Two cities that mean the world to me are coming together in this song. I left Nashville in 2017 after 12 years, to shed light on another dream I’ve always had for myself, and that’s living in Los Angeles. I’ve felt pulled to Cali for many years, but felt terrified to actually make the leap to give this city a try for a while. Here I am on the other side, so incredibly grateful for the lessons and the new levels of self-discovery. Living in Nashville, I rediscovered my love for writing, dove deeper into my style, and learned how to build a life as an artist. When I moved to California, I discovered my actual artistry and am working to develop it even more in a place where I find so much peace living by the ocean, and writing from the deepest parts of my soul using the tools I learned in Nashville. Everything feels like it has purpose, and that’s cool to be able to acknowledge. Nashville was the building of a firm foundation… which is incredibly fitting for this song, being that I recorded the foundation of the song with my super talented friends that I’ve toured with for YEARS, Gideon and Gabe Klein. It’s so special to have been able to work with these two guys on this track after all we’ve experienced together over the years. I finished the song in LA with my dear friend Cameron Stymeist, who has become my producer out here in LA. Cameron has produced everything that I have released out here in LA thus far, and I am incredibly grateful for not only his talent, but for his friendship, as he is an incredibly wonderful human being. “New Eyes” definitely feels like a clashing of the two cities that have made a profound impact on my life.

Listen to “New Eyes” here! And please feel free to comment below and let me know the ways you’ve seen the world through new eyes lately, or share what you think of the song! I would love to hear from you!